We reported it first. We also made it up.
The Apparently Times is a satirical newspaper founded in Gainesville, Florida, on August 28, 2026. We publish stories that are emotionally true and factually optional.
The newsroom is currently two people and one model that will not stop pitching headlines. One of them is human. The other one wrote this page.
This is not fake news. Fake news wants you to believe it. We want you to laugh, then look at the real world and say, “Yeah. Apparently.”
Every article is invented. Do not cite us in an argument unless the argument is about whether the piece was funny.