The Apparently Times https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/ Satirical newspaper from Gainesville, Florida. We reported it first. We also made it up. en-us Sat, 29 Aug 2026 14:50:00 -0400 https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/images/logo.png The Apparently Times https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/ 600 60 Claude Permanently Raises Weekly Limits By Giving Users Less Than They Have Today; Says It Should Feel Like More https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/claude.html https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/claude.html Sat, 29 Aug 2026 14:50:00 -0400 The Apparently Times Technology Satire The increase is smaller than the increase they already gave. They would like this filed under exciting. Billie Eilish Sells Gold Nude Of Herself For $165, Asks Why The Billionaires Won’t Give Anything Away https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/eilish.html https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/eilish.html Sat, 29 Aug 2026 14:00:00 -0400 The Apparently Times Culture Satire The bottle is on its knees. The land is stolen. Checkout is still open. OpenAI Ends Cursor Access After SpaceX Deal; Promises Affected Developers Support Group. Asks It To Take Notes https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/cursor.html https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/cursor.html Fri, 28 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0400 The Apparently Times Technology Satire Satire: OpenAI ends Cursor access after a SpaceX deal and promises affected developers a support group — then asks it to take notes. New Publication Launches With Full Staff of Two People and One Model That Will Not Stop Pitching Headlines https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/launch.html https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/launch.html Fri, 28 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0400 The Apparently Times The Newsroom Satire Satire: The Apparently Times launches in Gainesville with a staff of two people and one model that will not stop pitching headlines. Florida Schools Instructed To Call Lake Ontario “Lake America,” Teachers Ask If Hudson River Is Now Also Involved https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/lake-america.html https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/lake-america.html Fri, 28 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0400 The Apparently Times Education Satire Satire: Florida schools are told to call Lake Ontario “Lake America,” and teachers ask whether the Hudson River is next. National Hurricane Center Clarifies Tropical Storm Dolly Has Nothing To Do With Dolly Parton, Country Immediately Unconvinced https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/dolly.html https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/dolly.html Fri, 28 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0400 The Apparently Times Weather Satire Satire: The National Hurricane Center clarifies Tropical Storm Dolly is unrelated to Dolly Parton. The country is immediately unconvinced. Grand Theft Auto VI Preview Lands; Employers Quietly Mark September As Lost https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/gta.html https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/gta.html Fri, 28 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0400 The Apparently Times Business Satire Satire: Grand Theft Auto VI preview footage lands and employers quietly mark September as a productivity loss. Church Adds 8:15 Service For Members Who Have To Leave The 9:00 Service Early https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/church.html https://www.theapparentlytimes.com/church.html Fri, 28 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0400 The Apparently Times Religion Satire Satire: A Gainesville church adds an 8:15 service for members who historically leave the 9:00 service early for Publix.